Ang Pau

Ah.. in another less than 40 hours will be the time where my friends and i are going to experience the most climax moment in our teen life. Hereby, before the Ups and Downs, i shall present you a story, a short one. Yet i hope it wouldnt be another boring one.

Sang, a girl of age 15 is talking with her friends about the chinese new year that just passed.

Li: " How's your CNY? Mine wasnt really good, i thought that this time i'll buy a doll with my ang pau money but i just got 10 each from my parents. My parents never visits their families so.. aaa..aa..such dissapointment..."

Sang: "You should be happy that you at least have them"

Sang had never had any ang pau's from her father before ever since her mother's death in a plane crash when she was 4. Her father had been a drunkard ever since, like he is the one to be blamed on her mother's death.

Sang used to have beatiful ang pau's her mother made, and she always like the pattern and the drawing, even thought the money inside is just a few penny, yet its her mother's love that matters to her. After her mother's death, she'd been sad, still she hopes that her father will replace her mother and make those beautiful ang pau's. She even nags for it but it always ended up red hot on her small face.

"Pa! i want ang pau's!! Why dont you make one like mommy did?"

"Your mommy is not here anymre, dont ask me to do what she does OK? I am tired enough working to earn a life for you!! Be grateful enough!"

"You've been drinking all the while, i don even see you work.....All i want is just one ang pau for the Chinese New Year, issit that hard?"

"You stupid little girl, what you know about work huh? Do you think it is easy even to find a job? If you want ang pau then go to your mommy's grave and dig one out! You ungrateful little bastard!"

"I hope the one dead in the plane crash is you and not mommy!"

*PAK! PAK!*
I was 9 that time. Althought he slapped me but he cried when he do so..and i can see he wanted to be the one dead through his eyes. And it is the last time I ever asked for ang pau from my father.

It's almost night and Sang is walking to her shabby house at the end of the muddy path, a drunk father waiting inside.

I never wanted to go home, but i just feel guilty if i did not.
"Pa, I am back."

"What take you so long huh? I am so hungry already!"

Useless father, dont you know how to cook? I shouldnt had come back, why do i feel guilty at the 1st place?
"If you are hungry that cook it urself!!"

"How could you talk to your father like that? Now COOK!!"

How about you? I cant even have ONE ang pau EVERY year..
"I should have let you starve and then you might cook yourself"

*PAK*
"You didnt even give me ang pau's every year.. am i still a daughter to you? Or just a neccessity? I better off dead than having a father like you"
The next instant, the door is shut behind me.

The next hour, while Sang is walking around the shops.
*SCREEEEEEEECH...BANG!*
A body flying across the road and smashed against the pavement

The one's dead is not her but her father.

I've always had glimpse of such situation whenever i got angry with my father. But now looking at my own father's bloody corpse, i hate myself for even thinking of it.
"Paaaa!! Paa! Pa..Please dont leave me alone..... Are you OK? Oh.... please dont speak...You will be ok i am sure.....Please dont take your last breath right now...."

"Haaa....My stupid little girl...i think i got what you want..."
He took an envelope soaked with his own blood, and hand it over to his little stupid girl.

"Hahahah, i hope this can match your mother's ang pau with those beautiful patterns...ahuk....i m stupid...how can it match those ang pau's hahaha..ahuk...ahuk.AhuK"

"Pa, i dont want this ang pau... i want a better one....You need to make me a better one!!"

"Hahaha, dig one from my grave then....i wont bring too much trouble on you now, ah...there are rice cooked at home...faster go ea...."

...................

I've been waiting for this rice for more than 5 years...i thought it might be sweet but it tasted salty, and a bit of bitter...

Under the dark blue sky, a morning sun

I just finish reading chapter 3: Memorable Days, and tomorow is a begining of my next chapter, chapter 4: Your Tommorow. i do not know what is the content of this chapter, but it is yet to be read by myself, and only myself. Even so, when reading it, i still always hope that the next few sentences that's going to be read is ever so interesting and memorable. But who noe's what the writer wants what kind impact he wants to leave to the reader, me.

2007!! i m here!

2006 ENDS HERE!!
gah now i m one year older, so happy but sad, sad but happy.
wateva it is .. school life ends there..
wat waiting me is new challenge and new life
so, I M ON THE GO!

City and Life

I live in a city. WE live in a big city. It's so big that, i could never not hear any sound at all. Well, i suppose none of us liked soundless situation. It's very lonely..very indeed.

But. In this very big city, have u never felt the alone-ness before? I do. Sometimes in the bed, sometimes, even when someone's talking to me. How i hope that i can hear what u are thinking in ur mind, wat u say might be truth, or just words to suit the situation. As time goes by, I cant deny that I've become one of these people too.

If I were able to hear people's thought... will it do any good to me? I think. or, I suppose I prefer living in lies. Hearing what is suppose to be heard, isnt it better? Yeah, life will be much much better that way.

Imagine sitting in the street, hearing what is everyone thinking about you or someone else. Haha, then I'll be a very busy-body guy. Actually, I'll be killing myself with all this thoughts, full of even love or hatred. I'll enjoy guessing what's in people's mind , how interesting could that be for there is no answers for your question. It's like life, living till the end, always trying to get the purpose u are alive but u'll hardly get it.

I guess, standing in a very big and busy city, just looking at people passing by. Their face, their expression, their movements, their voice bring so much different to the moment, when u don't know what they are thinking. As the light from the lamp post and the moon radiates on these people, u know u are still alive.

take me to the water

As I leave the leaf's edge, I feel such joy and proudness within myself, my round and shining self. However, such happiness doesnt seem to last long. I start to feel a certain uneasiness without being conscious of it. I miss my friends who are still on the tree and I want to get back there with my kind again. And suddenly, "plop", i fell into a pool of my kind. There, I meet my friends that left me the other second. Looking up at the greening leafs, I pray hard with all my heart to be together again with my friends up there on the tree.

Gay shitters

I want to shit...to bullshit. Please, shit with me.

Edwin is, yes, a caterpillar. The strange thing is.

He hates caterpillars. It's like, hating himself. He turns away in disgust everytime he looks into the mirror. Poor, poor chap. :(

Bertrand, on the other hand, is gay. Gay, nowadays, has a different meaning.

Gay, in the 2000s, is lame.

So, Bert here is Lame!

The end.

P.s: Eugene is gay too.

P.P.S: By the way, Stanley, also known as the Gayest Man in the Entire Solar System to the flizzow, is the bestest best gay, gayer than all the above mention (that includes me :[). Too bad he's human. If not, the butterfly would've polenated him.

Okay that was lame.

The ennndddd.