Need to talk
It wasn't the 1st time i felt this way, that i couldn't speak at all... I don't know if i was shy, afraid? or no confidence to speak out. But anyhow, i feel sorry for myself in the end of the day.
What i did realize is that my brain wasn't processing conversations and reply in return at the speed as it is suppose to be, and somehow, my thought's were always a second late when the topic was already over. No idea why is it like that, but hey, that's the way it is...
Lol, it is funny that i get tensed up when i want to talk, and then the words that came out were all jumbled up together. I need to take it easy. Really need to.
and where are those words when i need them, it just disrupts the conversation while i was thinking for those specific words. Don't know if i am just having a bad memory, of is it because i was always lazy to think, that now it has become a habit.
phew.....sorry, i need to vent it out somehow. It really pains all the way up to the chest.
Most people say, virtual space is where people speak out their emotion, and here i am, doing it. But i never liked it, because its so fake, and loses the human touch. Anyway, it is better than nothing at all.
I hope i wont, or not even thinking about posting this ever again.
1 comment:
I see nothing fake about venting out frustrations and emotions online, unless the blogger is lying, which will never happen in your case because you don't really know how to lie. True, it loses the human touch, but it isn't so bad when people read what you write, and you have little choice if you prefer this to actually telling someone else about your problems. But really, if I had not read this post, I wouldn't have guessed that you were tensed up talking to others, or that you felt one step behind all the time in conversations, because you don't show it at all. If finding the right words is the problem, you should just practice more and relax. Maybe you're not responding as fast as you like because you're distracted by other problems, like worrying about A2, or something. Well, not saying that you don't need to bother about A2, but you're better than you think you are. And if it's some other problem that's bothering you, you have so many friends you can talk to. Friends who care for you. That's what friends are for. Or if it's not for friends to hear you can always talk to your family, unless you've done so already, in which case I'm sorry. Gee. I do hope it wasn't too much like a tirade, but I just hope that the pain you feel will disappear, and He will guide you and give you strength. God bless.
~ a friend
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